I believe that our energy is left here long after we are gone. Do I believe in screaming ghosts, the terrifying haunted houses, or the dead coming to us to help them "cross over"? I'm not sure. But, I believe in something.

Ten years ago we bought an old Victorian style home, which was built in 1855 and needed some work. We thought it would be fun to fix it up a little at a time and it has been. The history of the house's owners include a prestigious family who originally built the house, a doctor, a mortician, and several other families over the years. I was immediately drawn to this house, but I have never felt uncomfortable here given it's size (there are 10 bedrooms alone). There is one room on the bottom floor that we could never quite get right. We tried a game room, a living room, and a play room for the kids when they were young. However, I always felt that none of these ideas represented what this room truly is. I also felt that this room had once been a male dominated place. Nothing frightening, I never saw anything, but I felt that a man was always present here and he was unhappy. I never felt any anger, just unhappiness and only in this room. One day, I walked in and thought, this would be a perfect library. It is large, with a lot of wall space, a decorated ceiling, and large ceiling to floor windows. So we had someone come, measure the room and build bookshelves from floor to ceiling all the way around. Being a book collector and saver, I did not think that I would have close to enough books to fill the shelves. I had boxes and boxes of books packed away with no place to put them. When the project was completed I put my books on the shelves and found that I had just the right amount of books to fill the shelves with only 3 shelves left over. A leather couch, a large desk, newly sanded wood floors, a chair, and a small step ladder finished up the project. This is now my room. The best part. The feeling of sadness has gone. I often feel that a gentleman approves and sits quietly and comfortably somewhere in this peaceful room. I am happy that he likes it here. I know I do. 

So I had this dream. It was a bit wacky, but I can probably explain it through real life experiences, but for now, I prefer to remember the innocence, fun, and peacefulness of it all.

I lived in an unfamiliar, yet familiar house with my mom and my dog. FYI, my mom passed away several years ago. Anyway, we were outside in the backyard and there was a cement patio just outside the door. I was looking around at so many things; yard ornaments cast aside, plant pots, planting soil, buckets, gardening tools. So many different things, all bent and broken, but usable. The yard was also overgrown with plants of all kinds. Funny, no flowers, just green and very interesting plants. As I was searching through the plants, I discovered several plants that had eyes. I knew they were harmless, as they blinked when I looked at them. I felt the need to be very careful. I didn't want to hurt anything growing there. Then, along came Moo. I'll explain. A squirrel was playing and laughing (yes laughing) in the tall plants. He came up to me and we began to talk. I don't recall the conversation, but I told him I was naming him Moo. This because he had the exact same markings as a dairy cow. Black and white. Very cute and such fun. I was laughing and he would perform these antics, which were a joy to watch. My mom was always there and watched us, but said very little. She was not distressed by Moo's appearance, though she seemed a little concerned about rabies when he nipped me on the nose. However, Moo apologized and assured me that he did not have rabies. I believed him. I had no reason not to. Sadly, I woke up after that. I want to go back to that garden and play with Moo.

There was a time when money meant everything. There were bills to be paid, things that were needed, things that were wanted. I was always worried and wondered how we would make it from payday to payday. One day it occurred to me; we always made it. Somehow there was always enough. Bills were paid, we could always get what was needed and now and then, what was wanted. I began to look at what I had instead of what I wished I had and it was good.